The golden rules for an open relationship

Open relationships in general are becoming more common than they were a few years ago. People consciously choose this or it creeps in little by little. Either way, it’s not something you can just start tomorrow. What issues can you and your partner encounter and how can you ensure that things continue to go well?

What does an open relationship entail?

An open relationship means that you share everything with your regular partner, such as intimacy, feelings and thoughts, but you also have sex with others outside your relationship. This is a different way of life than being in a ‘normal’ relationship. In an open relationship you regularly eat out, but when you come home you sit on the couch with your partner.

Well or not

Not everyone is cut out for an open relationship. First of all, you shouldn’t be jealous. After all, you are in a relationship where it goes further than just looking at others. If you cannot stand seeing your partner watching porn, for example, or when he or she watches others, then it is actually not feasible to start this form of relationship.

Honesty and trust

Honesty and openness towards your partner is actually the golden rule. This is already a rule that belongs in every relationship and especially in an open relationship. Indicate in advance what you do and do not want to know. For example, do you only want to know who your partner has been with, or do you also want to know where and how? Make clear agreements about this with each other. If your partner wants to know certain things, answer honestly.

Do it safely

Make sure you always do it safely. You can always have sex with your partner without a condom, but make sure you always do it safely with others. Otherwise you will not only get yourself into trouble, but also your partner.
Not with friends or acquaintances If you are in an open relationship, agree that you will not have sex with friends or acquaintances. This often involves different thoughts and it is better to avoid the problems that can arise from this. So don’t do that!

Keep it outdoors

If you have an open relationship and want to have sex with someone else, do not do this in your own home. Even if your partner knows about it, it can still be painful if you are in bed with someone else. This can be a painful moment, so make sure you are always somewhere else when you have sex with someone else. After all, an affair is something that happens outside your regular relationship, so keep it outside your home.

Clear agreements; what is allowed and what is not

Make clear agreements with each other. Everyone has their own view on an open relationship, so make sure that you and your partner make clear agreements about this. This will prevent any arguments. Examples of agreements could be:

    • Only one night stands, so not with the same person every time
    • Not in your own hometown but outside of it
    • Not with acquaintances
    • Flirting and kissing is good, but not sharing a bed with someone else
    • One weekend a month, so not weekly
    • Don’t sleep over at someone else’s house

To tell or not to tell

Although open relationships are becoming more common, they often remain taboo. If you think that other people will look at you strangely or treat you differently if they know, you can also choose not to tell. It is your decision and not anyone else’s.

Your partner is and remains number 1

Even if you have an open relationship, your own permanent partner is and remains number one. You have chosen to do this together. So don’t suddenly go to someone else as soon as you get a call while you are doing something with your partner. Actually, everything revolves around you and not about the outside world. In the outside world you live in a different world than with your partner. Your open relationship is about lust, but your own relationship is about love.

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