Blog

Children are exposed to sex education at an early age. The first issues regarding sex are often dealt with in primary schools. Unfortunately, this always assumes heterosexual sex and completely ignores homosexuals. We believe that they should also be able to embark on a well-informed journey of discovery in the field of sex. Here you will find more information about homosexual sex.

Sex education is not for homosexuals?

Almost all primary schools now pay attention to sex education. This is necessary, because experience shows that children start experimenting earlier and earlier. It is therefore important that they are well informed about what sex exactly is, what it can entail and what possible risks are associated with it. You may remember the first time you received sex education. The teacher talked about condoms, about penises and vaginas, about getting pregnant and venereal diseases, about fingering and jerking off, blowjobs and cunnilingus and about masturbation. With every word, some classmates nudged each other to whisper something or giggle and the further the lesson went on, the redder their ears became. However, primary education does not yet delve too deeply into all the ins and outs of sex. These lessons follow in secondary education, when we generally already have quite a bit of interest in dating.

Secondary education offers lessons that cover all the ins and outs of sex. This way you get a repetition of things you heard in primary school, but you also hear a lot of new things. Videos or photos are often shown and they practice putting on a condom. After all, it is very important that this action is done correctly to ensure optimal protection. For example, they practice with a banana or a cucumber and both boys and girls participate in this exercise. In most cases the first time does not go smoothly, but thanks to the sex education lessons, everyone is aware of the ins and outs of sex, right? No, not at all and this is where we are going wrong!

An article previously appeared about a girl who raised her hand at the end of all sex education lessons, asking when she was told how to have sex with another girl. The class laughed and whispered and the teacher didn’t know what to say. This girl never received an answer and we gave her this answer with an extensive article about lesbian sex, which you can of course also read here. This got us thinking. What if that girl had been a boy, asking how to have sex with another boy? The class and the teacher would probably have reacted the same way and again there would have been no answer. We believe that everyone should be able to enter their sex life well prepared and well informed. Everyone, including gay boys. This article is especially for them.

Falling in love with a boy for the first time

Being in love is an amazing feeling! Butterflies in your stomach, thoughts that keep going to that one person and blushing cheeks when he talks to you. The feeling of love that you feel as a gay person is exactly the same as the feeling that a straight person feels when he or she is in love. Yet for gays there are often more concerns involved. When you fall in love with a boy for the first time, you realize that this is different from what is expected of you. Many boys doubt whether this is a fad or whether they actually like boys and there is also the question of what the outside world will think about it. Suppose this boy is also in love with you, how are you going to tell your parents or your friends? This is very different than if you had come home with a girl. In addition, you also have to deal with the realization that the boy you are in love with may not be gay at all and, in the worst case, doesn’t want anything to do with him at all. In short, being in love is great, but if you are a boy in love with another boy, this also brings with it a lot of annoying worries.

Is he gay too?

Your biggest first concern is of course whether he also feels something for you. To be fair, there are gays for whom it is easy to see that they are attracted to men, but there are also plenty where you cannot tell from their behavior. This is exactly the case with lesbian women. If you ever speak to him, you can always have a conversation where the subject of homosexuality accidentally comes up. You will see (or hear) soon enough how he feels about this and maybe he trusts you enough to tell you that he likes boys if this is the case. You can then immediately tell yourself that you are also attracted to boys, so that you immediately have enough conversation to avoid any awkward silence. Of course, you may also notice that he actually has something against gays. Unfortunately, there are those people too. Don’t get discouraged right away. It will cause heartbreak, because you don’t have a chance, but don’t let it ruin everything for you. You will get over it and a boy will definitely come your way who will like you just as much as you like him. If you find out that the boy you are in love with is also gay, don’t just assume that he also likes you. He doesn’t fall in love with you because you also happen to be gay and like him. He has to like you as much as you like him. The fact that he is gay does not necessarily mean that there is a relationship. Just look at it from the other side. Suppose you just like girls, would you fall in love with every girl who likes you, just because she is a girl? Oh no? Of course you can hope! You never know and maybe he is secretly as in love with you as you are with him, but he didn’t know that you are also gay and that he likes you. Of course it works both ways.

The first kiss with a boy

On the one hand, you want nothing more, but on the other hand, you also find it terrifying to kiss a boy for the first time. It doesn’t matter if you’ve kissed a girl before or if you’ve never kissed at all. That first kiss is always nerve-wracking. This is very normal and everyone suffers from it. You may already have experience kissing a girl, because you didn’t know at the time that you like boys, because you wanted to try it, to be sure that it wasn’t for you or because you might be thinking about yourself (or someone else). other) wanted to prove that you are not gay at all. There are many boys who know very early on that they like boys, before they ever kiss a girl and they don’t want to kiss a girl either. In addition, there are also many boys who only discover later in life that they are attracted to men and they have often already kissed a girl. This is very normal. It is mainly the gays who only later discover that they are attracted to men who have already kissed a girl or even slept with a girl. Boys who know early on that they are gay often skip this, because they already know that kissing a girl is not for them.

Kissing a boy is the same as kissing a girl, so if you’ve done that before, you know how it works. The only difference is that boys (especially during and after puberty) feel less soft than girls when kissing. You both have to deal with stubble and slightly rougher skin. If you have never kissed, not even with a girl, here’s what you can do. You place your lips on his and gently kiss him. You can slowly work towards the transition from kissing to kissing. You both open your mouths a little, after which your tongues come into contact with each other. You can play with each other’s tongues, spin in circles and tease each other a bit. Actually, at some point it all happens automatically. Do not stand with your arms at your sides, but hold each other comfortably and press him against you. It’s okay to move while kissing. In most cases that is even pleasant. Think of a hand over your back, through your hair, over your butt or on your neck. This makes kissing much more loving and intense. If you enjoy kissing a boy and you feel that you are ready for the next step, this often happens naturally. It is important that you are both ready for this. If this is not (yet) the case, wait until you both feel comfortable with it. It happens naturally. You really don’t have to agree on a day or time when you will go further than just kissing. If you are together and you are ready, the rest will follow naturally.

The first step to sex

In most cases, boys already have experience with masturbation before they start a relationship. This means you know very well what you like and what you don’t. First of all, keep in mind that it feels very different when someone else pleasures you. After all, it is not your own hands that you are dealing with and you have no control over the movements. This also applies the other way around. It is also very different for him when you satisfy him than when he does it himself. No boy is the same and preferences can also be very different. What you like, he may find very unpleasant and vice versa. This applies to everything, whether it is kissing and caressing, jerking off or blowjobs or the act itself. It’s important that you both feel comfortable with each other and that you are sure you want to go further than kissing. Then you trust each other enough to help each other and this way you can clearly show the other person what you like and don’t like. Of course, you can also tell from him whether he likes something or not. If you can’t really tell, then it’s not a bad idea to ask. It’s better to ask and be sure that you do it the way he likes it, than to just do something and he hates it but doesn’t dare say so. Talking is good and you learn from it, especially when it comes to sex. If you help each other, it will certainly be great, although the first time will certainly not go smoothly. Kissing is therefore the first phase on the way to sex. Below you will find the next phases that you can go through on the way to action. There are 3 main phases. Of course, this can take as much time as you want and you can of course also do the actions differently at your own discretion. These tips are only there to help you get started.

Phase 2: Making love with clothes on

1. • You can build up the tension with kissing. Give small kisses in between, on the lips or on the neck, for example. Gently bite his tongue, teasingly avoid his kisses or just make it a fun kissing game. This is to build tension and stimulate the desire to go further.
   • Caress his face, over his hair and along his neck. Show how much you love him. If you immediately grab his crotch, you can give the impression that you are all about sex and you want to do everything you can to prevent this. You have time, so use it to make each other as comfortable and relaxed as possible.
   • Slowly slide your hand down the side of his body, down the side of his thigh to his knee. Then stroke back up (along the side!) and press your hand firmly on his hip. You can see this as an encouraging squeeze and it provokes a response. This will tell you whether he feels good about it and wants you to continue.
   • If the reaction is good, you can slide your hand over his stomach towards his chest. You can play with his nipple(s) if you can feel them through his clothes.
   • If the reactions are still good, you can let your hand slide down to his crotch. Put a little more pressure on your hand and on the caress here. Not too much, because that can hurt, but enough pressure that he can feel your hand on his penis through his clothes.

If everything goes according to plan and you both feel comfortable with it, you can choose to continue to an intermediate phase. This phase falls between the second and the third and can give you clarity as to whether you are really ready. In this intermediate phase you slide your hands under his clothes, over his naked body. If this turns you on and you notice that he feels the same way, you can move on to the third phase. Is the atmosphere getting awkward for both of you or just you or him? Then it is advisable to wait a little longer before starting the next phase.

Phase 3: Naked

What could be more beautiful than looking at the naked body of the boy you love so much? Nothing right? But before you can enjoy a naked body, you first have to deal with the awkward hassle of undressing. The fastest way is of course to both undress yourself. This is also the easiest way, but unfortunately also the least romantic way. It is much more exciting and romantic to undress each other, slowly and while continuing to kiss and caress. This means there is still plenty of opportunity to stop if you suddenly realize that you are not ready for this yet. If you have the right partner, he will fully understand this. If he wants to stop, you must of course respect this too. It is of course very normal for nerves to run through your body. It would be a worse sign if this were not the case. But the nerves should not get so high that it gets in your way. They should be pleasant nerves, nerves because you want to keep going and not because you feel like you have to keep going.

Once you are both completely undressed, repeat the second phase. That means; caress and kiss, and don’t grab his penis directly because you think this will bring ultimate pleasure. This can also give the idea that you are only interested in sex. Build it up slowly, caress his whole body, kiss his mouth, his neck and his chest and see how you both react. Not everyone has the courage to say what they want in bed. You can of course ask if he would like to jerk you off, or he can ask you, but many guys find this very difficult. Especially during the first time. You can also show with body movements that you want to continue. Do you notice that he wants to, but that he needs a push because he is not sure that you want it? Then gently take his hand and wrap it around your penis. If necessary, you can encourage him by placing your hand around his and starting the movement. If all goes well, you can remove your hand and bring it to his penis. Of course, this also works the other way around. It is also not mandatory to subtract each other at the same time. This is entirely your own choice.

Subtraction

Many boys start with self-pleasure at an early age and therefore have experience with this before they go to bed with a boy. So you know what it feels like to be jerked off, even if you’ve done it yourself so far. You know what movements you make to bring yourself to an orgasm. Keep in mind that your friend doesn’t know that! The other way around also applies. He probably jerks off differently than you do. You can’t assume that he likes it the way you do it. You can often tell by the reaction whether you are doing it right. Of course, you can also ask for directions. Do you want him to do it a little differently, but you don’t dare to say this? You can also take his hand and place it on another part of the penis or change his movement slightly.

If you take a little longer to jerk off, it may become less pleasant. This mainly has to do with the fact that it becomes a bit rougher. If you do it yourself, in most cases it will take quite a short time. You have only one goal in mind and that is to bring yourself to an orgasm. You know how to do this. With a partner it’s all about foreplay and not about bringing them to orgasm. This makes it take longer and can cause a kind of chafing feeling. You can easily solve this by using lubricant. Saliva will also do the trick. If you use a product that is not officially a lubricant, check that the product is water-based! It can also give you a much more pleasant feeling if you use lubricant. The moisture creates a pleasant sliding movement, which can be compared to penetrating the body. This is a pleasant and stimulating feeling.

It may of course be the case that you want to go further than just jerking off, but that your boyfriend jerks you off so pleasantly that you feel an orgasm approaching. If you still want to stop this, say so honestly and do not wait until the last minute. If you do this, it may already be too late and your orgasm will continue. If you prefer not to say it, remove his hand or lie down differently, so that he can temporarily no longer reach your penis. You can focus entirely on him during this time. When jerking off, it is better to move towards the head of the penis than towards the balls. This way you can be sure that you cannot pull the skin back too far from the glans, causing it to become painful. Of course, you still have your other hand free to caress or massage his balls, to caress his buttocks or to stimulate his anus.

Blowjob

Most men love getting a blowjob, but keep in mind that there are also men who don’t like it very much. There are men who like to give someone else oral pleasure, but there are also those who don’t want to know anything about it. This can have various causes. For example, men may not want to give a blow job because they find it dirty or because they find it annoying that the other person has all the time to watch him being given a blow job. This can be uncomfortable. In addition, there are men who do not want to get a blow job because it makes them feel uncomfortable or, for example, because they find it dirty to kiss again afterwards. If your boyfriend doesn’t want to give blowjobs or be given blowjobs, accept this. Maybe it will come later. Oral sex is a very intimate experience and often a bit uncomfortable for the first time.

If you want to give your boyfriend a blowjob, don’t immediately put his entire penis in your mouth. There are of course boys who like this direct work, but if it is a first time, it can also cause a shock reaction. Give gentle kisses (possibly with your tongue, like a kind of hickey without sucking) on his lower abdomen, on his balls and on his penis. Your friend now knows clearly where you want to go and has the time to tell you if he doesn’t want this. If you notice from his movements or sounds that he wants you to continue, you can increasingly involve your tongue. Also try to always take some extra saliva with you on your tongue and spread it over his penis, which will make it easier for you to slide your lips around his penis. Caress his balls with your tongue, over his penis and ending at his glans. You can gently run circles around this with your tongue, or move your tongue back and forth on the most sensitive spot. Giving a blowjob is a wonderful feeling for most men and you will notice this in the sounds. This way you can also hear which movements he really likes and which have less effect on him. This does not mean that you no longer need to make these movements. If you only stimulate him in the place and way he likes it most, an orgasm can follow (too) quickly and this is not always desirable. It is of course important that you do not continue actions that he does not like at all. In most cases he will show this. If you are ready to continue and you notice that this is desired, you can take his penis in your mouth. It is advisable to only put your lips around his penis when it is already in your mouth and not before you slide it into your mouth. This way, when you withdraw your lips, you can provide some extra saliva, so that the next movement glides easier and more pleasantly. Protect your teeth with your lips so you can avoid hurting him with your teeth. Put some pressure on your lips and let his penis slide in and out of your mouth. You can stop on the glans (or just before the glans) and move back towards his belly. In the meantime, you can also move your tongue along his penis or his glans when you pass it again with your tongue. For extra stimulation, you can place a hand around his penis, slightly away from the lower abdomen. Move your hand evenly with your mouth. In fact, you now make a combination of jerking off and blowing, so that he feels it constantly all over his penis. With your other hand you can perform other actions, just like when subtracting. Caress his body, his buttocks or stimulate his anus with your fingers.

Fingering the anus

Touching the anus is a pleasant feeling, but it is certainly not the case that it is immediately pleasant to insert your penis directly into the anus when you proceed to the act. It is advisable to finger the anus first. First stroke the anus. It is more pleasant if you wet your finger with saliva or lubricant. If you insert your finger into the anus, you will feel it contract. This is not a sign that your partner does not want to, but an automatic reflex of the sphincter muscle. You can hold your finger still in the anus until you feel the contraction disappear. You can then move your finger in and out of the anus to make the penetrating motion. You can also hold your finger in the anus and move it here. Do you want to make the sensation stronger and ensure that your friend enjoys it optimally? Then you can jerk him off at the same time, massage his balls or press the piece of skin between the anus and the balls. This piece of skin is also called the perineum. Don’t press too hard, but enough to make him feel comfortable. If one finger works well, you can choose to use two fingers to build it up slowly. This will prevent it from being painful for your friend. Not everyone suffers from it, but there are many boys who experience pain when a large body part or object is directly inserted into the anus, especially during the first time, where the nerves also play a major role. Take this into account and build up slowly so that the anus can get used to the size.

The male G-spot

Women know the G-spot, which is located inside the vagina. Men often wrongly think that they do not have such a similar spot. We do indeed have these. This is the prostate. The prostate is one of the most sensitive places in the male body. You can find this spot in the anus, on the side of the abdomen, about five centimeters deep. You can reach it by inserting your finger into the anus and moving it up and down inside. You make a movement with your finger that you also make when you indicate with a finger that someone should come towards you. Many boys find this very pleasant, but there are also boys who do not like this very much. Therefore, pay close attention to the reaction you get to the movement. After penetrating with your fingers, you can take an intermediate step with a dildo or a vibrator that is smaller than your penis. This is of course entirely up to you. You can also proceed to anal sex, where you slowly push the penis into the anus. Always use a condom (extra strong). There are condoms that already have lubricant, but you can also choose to apply it yourself. If it is pleasant for both of you if the penis is in the anus, you can start moving back and forth, or in and (almost) out. If it is a bit painful when the penis has just been inserted into the anus, wait a while until it feels comfortable. Nerves can also cause it to be painful for the recipient. If the pain persists, stop doing it and return to activities that you both enjoy. Do not remove the penis all at once, but do this slowly. This way you avoid hurting your partner.

Stands and aids

Gay couples can adopt almost any position when fucking that heterosexual couples can. The most popular among gays is doggy style, where the receiver is on his hands and knees and the giver stands behind this person to penetrate him. However, there are couples who find this a bit impersonal, especially for a first time. As a giver, you can also lie behind the receiver, so that your spoon-spoon rests against each other. The receiver can also lie on his back, after which the giver lies on top of him. The receiver holds the legs up, after which the penis can easily be inserted into the anus. You can also sit on top of each other on a chair, with the receiver moving up and down on the lap of the giver, who has inserted his penis into the anus. There are countless positions that you can use to be creative in the bedroom. The above positions are most commonly used for the first few times, when everything is still a bit awkward. Of course you can also use a wide variety of toys and sex toys. Think of dildos, vibrators, balls and other special anal toys. You can buy these online in various sex shops. You will then receive the toys discreetly at home, so that your neighbors (and the postman) cannot see where the package came today and what is inside. That’s really nice.

Act hygienically

Many boys are afraid that when they are penetrated or when they penetrate, fecal matter will stick to the penis. As a recipient, it is embarrassing when your boyfriend removes his penis from the anus and it is covered in feces. This spoils the whole atmosphere. It is advisable to go to the toilet before having intercourse. Showering, possibly together with your partner, can also minimize the risk of fecal matter in the anus. If necessary, you can rinse the anus clean on the inside. You can use tools for this that are specifically used for the hygiene of intimate areas. The vaginal shower for women also does an excellent job of rinsing the anus. Do this only with water. It is important that you always use a condom, as we indicated earlier. Many men think that this is only useful if you are not sure that the other person does not have a venereal disease. However, the anus is also very susceptible to infections. Therefore, always use a condom, even if you are sure that you are both completely healthy!

To ask

This article is intended to provide homosexual young people with the necessary sex education, which in most cases they do not receive at school. Gay young people also have the right to explore the world of sex in a well-informed manner. Ignorance often leads to problems, whether they are minor misunderstandings or problems that have major consequences for the rest of life. You can register on the Internet at various websites specifically for homosexuals, where you can come into contact with others. We can also imagine that not everything you want to know is included in this article. Are you having problems, would you like to tell your story or do you have any questions? You can post a comment under this article (possibly under a false name). You will receive an answer shortly, which will appear below your response. Tips for other gay young people that you cannot find in the text can of course also be shared in the comments. You can also send a private message. This is not shown on the website and will be forwarded to me by email. I will answer your questions as best I can. Naturally, everything discussed privately via email will be treated confidentially.

read more

1. • Lesbian sex, how and what?